Midweek #ROW80 Check-In

Just a week to go in this Round!  Push push push!  Make these last days count!

And I’m still looking for sponsors for Round 4.  We start October 6th, so you’ve got a little time to get your ducks in a ROW!  :snicker:  You see what I did there…  Shut up, I’m posting this undercaffeinated…

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Changing Your Path by Mhairi Simpson

I’m sitting here in front of my computer and my brain won’t stop spinning for long enough for me to stick some flesh to any of the ideas whose skeletons are currently whirling in my mind, all fairly insouciant about whether they form the basis for this post or not. I think it’s because I really like where I am right now in my life and I want to show other people how they might get there too. The problem is, a lot of different things came together for me to be in this place. Together, they are more than the sum of their parts.

Friends is definitely one. The overwhelming love and support I have experienced from my friends, even though most of them have only known me for a year, three or four at most, has changed my view of myself and what I can achieve. It was particularly eye-opening to be told, after telling one friend I was now a full time creative, “Good. The vast majority of people, I wouldn’t support it, but you are one of the very few I can wholeheartedly get behind. You can make it happen.” Or when another friend said, “You’re an insanely talented writer,” and I replied, “I know.” Then I realised what I’d said and before I could retract it, he said, “GOOD.” Your friends see the truth of you, whether you do or not. Whether your family does or not. That’s what makes them your friends.

Recognising who you really are is another aspect of how I got here, too. I’ve tried to be responsible about my journey to full time creativity. I’ve tried for sixteen years, through a number of jobs (on two continents). I never made it work. I never found a job which made me 100% happy and I firmly believe that 100% happiness is my birthright.

I didn’t used to believe that. For a long time I swallowed the idea that work was something draggy and horrible you did in exchange for money. Now I’ve realised that life doesn’t start at sixty-five. It starts when you’re born. If you’re going to be alive, damn well live!

You might be thinking, well, what about money, Mhairi? Isn’t money kind of important too?

Yes. It is important. But other things are more important. My mental health is more important than my income, for sure. Not just my happiness but the stability of my mind. And this is what I have never been able to maintain, through all those jobs in all those places with all those different companies. I’ve never felt in control of myself or the world around me. My mind would tip and sway and it never occurred to anyone, least of all me, that this might not be normal.

So now, yes, I have medicine. And I have realised I need to care for my health, mental, physical, emotional and creative, in any way I can.

So I no longer have a job. I’m not looking for another one either. Right now I have so many editing and writing and art projects lined up I don’t have time for a job anyway.

The fact is, I am not an employee. Never have been. I’ve been trying to be one for the last decade and a half and it never worked. So now I’m working for myself. I believe in myself. More to the point, a number of people around me believe in me too. And for the first time, even without money, the path shines ahead of me by the light of a billion stars. My life has never looked brighter. I can only be that which I am. I have accepted that, thrown myself into the void with only that to cling to. On the one hand, it’s terrifying. But I am not alone. I’m surrounded by people who only want to help me. I feel loved. I feel free. I feel… me.

I’m not suggesting that everyone who’s in a crappy job should quit it right now (although if you want to and can, do it!). What I’m suggesting is that maybe the first step on the path to happiness is to stop lying to yourself about what you really want out of your life. Do you want money? Do you want a big house? Do you want a book tour? Do you want a speedboat? Do you want a wife and three children?

Once you are honest with yourself about what you really want, you then have to get honest with yourself about whether what you’re currently doing is taking you closer to what you want. And if it isn’t, well, that’s where the change is.

Change is always exhilarating. This isn’t always a good thing. It depends on how much exhilaration you think you can handle. You can probably actually handle a fair bit more than you think, but when it comes to making plans, what you think you can do is more relevant, at least initially.

And even then, sometimes, the Universe just does it for you. In my case, two traffic accidents in six months. The latest one saw me dumped off my scooter into the middle of an empty roundabout in the middle of the night. I couldn’t think straight. Had no idea even how to stand up.

Two separate families of complete strangers stopped their cars and came running over to help me. They stayed with me until my friends arrived to pick me up.

How’s that for a metaphor? When you take a sudden turn in a totally different direction, people will help you.

Just… try to change your path yourself, if you can. The Universe’s methods tend to HURT.

~*~

Mhairi Simpson

Sunday #ROW80 Check-In

The clock’s ticking, folks!  Let’s sprint on til the end! GO GO GO GO GO!

 

And if you wanna cheer people on next round, consider being a sponsor!  Check out the FAQs and send me an email if you’re interested.

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Grammatical Fisticuffs by Stephanie Nickel

I read a meme on Facebook recently that was originally posted by Grammarly. (I love their memes.) I found it to be a humorous exchange between a student and his teacher about the difference between “may” and “can.” Yes, I admit there are things that make me twitch, but this isn’t one of them – and the                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           things that do aren’t actually important to “the big picture.”

The thing that really got me thinking was one of the comments left by another reader. She seemed quite offended that someone who was concerned with proper word usage would be called names (pedantic and pretentious in this case). I also know of a writer and editor who feels each time we don’t follow “the rules” we diminish the language. It’s okay. They’re allowed to feel this way.

There may be some of you who already feel your blood pressure rising. Funny how a discussion about linguistics and grammar can do that to people. 

I heard Ammon Shea, author of Bad English: A History of Linguistic Aggravation, on a radio talk show. I learned a thing or two and very much want to read his book.

One of the things that aggravates Shea is that often those who get up in arms when the rules are broken haven’t done their research. These “purists” would have been considered the uneducated ones in the not too distant past. You see, these rules change over time. What was once considered proper is no longer. Shea believes that a language that does not evolve is a dead language.

I use reference books such as The Chicago Manual of Style, but 5, 10, 50 years from now, the edition that sits on my shelf will be outdated. Even now, despite what some academics say, editing is often a subjective endeavour. Just compare one publishing house’s style sheet with another’s.

What is language really and why is it important to learn – and use – the currently accepted rules?

A Means to Communicate with One Another

According to Wikipedia, researchers conclude that less than 35 percent of face-to-face communication is verbal. If we break a rule from time to time, it won’t likely have a dramatic effect.

And when it comes to written communication, for the most part, we have to use language that can be understood by our target audience. Writings for the general population are now at a lower reading level than in days gone by. Of course, neither of these things means we shouldn’t use accepted spelling, punctuation, and grammar.

A Means to Express Your Thoughts and Feelings

Our intention may come across loud and clear if we are communicating face-to-face. However, if our written work is bogged down by errors, our thoughts and feelings may get lost in the muddle.

A Means to Effect Change

If we want to effect change on a broad scale, we don’t want our audience distracted by our apparent ignorance about the language. Whether we consider this distraction their problem or ours is irrelevant. If we want to be heard and know our audience may very well be alienated by such things, we should purchase, read, and apply a book (or two) on the subject. If you do a search for “grammar” on Amazon, you will find 100 pages of books. (This is also a good place to mention that a skilled editor is worth the investment – even for editors.)

A Means to Entertain

Deliberately breaking the rules can have a humorous effect. First, however, you must know the rules. You must also know that your audience will understand why what you say (or write) is funny.

When your humor has nothing to do with linguistics and grammar, it’s a good idea that errors in this area don’t distract from the message. On the flipside, strictly following the rules can be equally distracting—and unintentionally amusing. Consider Winston Churchill’s words: “Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.”

An Aside

If you haven’t read Lynne Truss’s Eats Shoots and Leaves, you absolutely, positively must. It’s my favourite book on punctuation. I howled as I read it while my family was watching TV. They thought I was a little strange, but that’s okay because I am. Using incorrect punctuation can convey an unintended—often hysterical, sometimes tragic—message.

My Personal Philosophy

As an editor and writer, I want to do the best I can to create—and help others create—the most polished, effective written communication possible.

When it comes to reading work created by someone else, I want to be gracious, looking passed the mistakes to the message they are seeking to convey.

~*~

Stephanie Nickel

Midweek #ROW80 Check-In

We’re entering the final stretch of Round 3.  Now’s the time to pick up the pace and make a big push.  It’s also when I start soliciting for next round sponsors.  So if you’re interested, drop me an email at kaitnolanwriter (at) gmail.com.

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